Asteroids: The Movie In Planning Stages

Generation X, your past is calling, and it wants mercy. Lorenzo di Bonaventura, producer of the Transformers movies and the G.I. Joe remake, is on tap to make Asteroids into a movie.

That’s right, the classic Atari arcade video game in which you control a triangle that fires tiny dots at irregularly-shaped vector blocks, has been optioned and is apparently in the process of being made into a big screen flick. Why? Because our history is available to be mined for intellectual properties that haven’t yet been exploited. di Bonaventura said of the project: “When I was called about the property — I was called because of what I’d done with ‘Transformers‘ and ‘G.I. Joe‘ — Atari reached out to me and said, ‘We have Asteroids‘, and I had an immediate reaction, ‘Yes.'”

So let’s take a moment to ponder what about Asteroids ignited the fervor in di Bonaventura. Giant rocks floating through space? You don’t need the Atari license to make that, as Michael Bay can tell you. A spaceship that fires destructive lasers? Hello, The Last Starfighter (which, come to think of it, is just about due to be remade any day now). Little flying saucers? I’ll let you do the legwork on that. So, really, this is either the worst property to be used as the basis for a movie, or the best. Because either way, whatever the movie is made from, it will be made from whole cloth. Oh, sure, we’ll probably get sequences of pilots climbing into ships and firing at rocks, but that’s it. Or is it?

“We really went after a mythology on the level of ‘Star Wars’ and we’ll see if we succeeded or not but it’s not a simple thing of the asteroids are going to hit the earth. We never come to earth. The entire movie takes place in the asteroid field.” Oh man, the levels of crazy in this project just keeps rising. Mythology? You could not get simpler than Asteroids. PacMan has more going on in it than Asteroids does. I could make a movie out of Centipede, or Rally X, or Venture, or even Breakout if I wanted to, much easier than to craft a mythology out of Asteroids. And this is all to say that I’m terribly interested to see what, if anything, comes from this. I’m pre-ordering my tickets right now.