Apple’s 2Q Earnings Are Insane


Good news. As you recline in your minimally decorated living room chairs, sipping your coffee, working on your iPad and iPhone, about to ride off on your fixed gear bike – you are responsible for Apple’s badass Q2 earnings.

Apple – the company you love to hate because of their fans — the Dave Matthews Band of Silicon Valley, has had a really good year so far. But you probably expected that. What with the giant product launches, the fusion of fashion with user-friendly tech and the iPad making the rounds on everything from the cover of Newsweek to episodes of Modern Family, they’ve got all the press they could possibly want.

That press and innovation has translated directly into financial success. They’ve posted revenue of 13.5 billion dollars, and a quarterly profit of 3.07 billion dollars. Basically, in the time it took to switch seasons, Apple made 3 billion dollars. Which should blow your mind. That’s more than Victoria’s Secret makes in an entire year, which makes sense really, cause bras are not nearly as useful as computers. They’re more fun, sure, but you can’t run your business on bras.

What’s this mean overall? It’s good to be Steve Jobs. Realllly good.